Beginner’s Mind and Self-Care
The practice of self-care has far too frequently been connected with “doing” and what we “do” for ourselves. Getting a massage, reading a book, taking a walk. While all of these activities are wonderful routines to prioritize, I see self-care as a much more introspective practice. With many of the clients with whom I have the privilege of working, many who are professional women, we try to move past simply finding tasks that alleviate stress; we work to explore and attend to the reasons why we become stressed and overwhelmed from the outset. Exploring how our expectations, judgments and often unmet or unspoken needs are what create stress or intense emotional experiences. Self-care is rooted in working to validate our experiences and seek understanding of why we feel what we do.
One of the most difficult aspects of healing is overcoming our preconceived notions; the rules and myths we allow to guide us, not only about the world in which we live, but also about ourselves. These myths are developed over time, often from our childhood or through impactful experiences as an adult, can be incredible difficult patterns to break. The Zen principle of Beginner’s Mind is an approach that can help open our minds and hearts to new perspectives, new feelings and new relationships. From a Dialectical Behavioral Therapy point of view, allowing yourself to be willing to try new ways of interacting with the world, breaking the mold that may have brought you to where you are. When you feel overwhelmed or stressed, ask if there is different way of viewing this situation. Ask yourself would I feel the same way if I worked to accept reality as it is, without desiring it to be different, at least for that moment.
Beginner’s Mind lets you become a student of life again, opening yourself to childlike curiosity and enthusiasm, even letting yourself make mistakes without fear or judgment. This approach can help reinforce foundational principles of wellness, such as humility, acceptance and honesty; because you are no longer are under the pressure of being an expert at all times. The Beginner’s Mind, or Willing perspective, helps to maintain an optimistic attitude and can often help find solutions to problems or struggles you may have never otherwise considered.
Additionally, Beginner’s Mind helps us to simply remain in the moment and to focus on what you learn from each experience. We can begin to remove the rigidity of our old ways of thinking and open ourselves to much greater possibility. Challenge yourself to become a student again with a Beginner’s Mind, letting you feel and think with excitement and hope. As we approach a time of year when external stressors can be come overwhelming, make efforts to be open to the experience and “stop to smell the roses”.
